Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
