My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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