I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Randomize
