Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
