im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
