If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
