His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Randomize
