I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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