Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Randomize
