the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
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