why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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