she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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