so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
