wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
