i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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