THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
