I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
