Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
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