Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
