as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
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