You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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