you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
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