i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Randomize
