OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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