i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
