what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
