i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
