don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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