What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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