quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Randomize
