Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
