She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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