but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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