I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
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