not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
