Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
