FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Randomize
