theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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