I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
