I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
