Little spoons don't ask big questions
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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