is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Someone signed my nipple.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
