Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
50% drunk capacity currently
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
