doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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