Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
