Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Randomize
