I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
