Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
