But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
