idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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