Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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