You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
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