I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
