I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
