He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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