i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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